The First Sign


This is my son Ben and his beautiful girlfriend Ashton.  We lost him on Thanksgiving 2017 to suicide.  A week later, Ashton took her own life as well.  To say it was the most painful time in my life is an extreme understatement.

Ben suffered from Major Depression and Bipolar Disorder.  Ashton suffered from a broken heart and bullying.  Several kids blamed her for Ben’s death.  Those kids did not know what Ben had dealt with for most of his young life.

In the days and months since I have had many signs that Ben is with me. The first was the night after his passing.

Ben has had a Walker Coon Hound for about 8 years. While she is Ben’s dog, guess who took care of her most of the time?  Yep, good Ole Mom!  When it gets dark and all the animals start coming out of the woods behind our house she goes nuts baying at them.  So, each night I bring her inside so that she doesn’t keep the neighbors up all night.  I’ll usually take her out once or twice before I go to bed.  It’s normally a simple procedure.   Since she has an 11ft leash, I can stand on the porch and she can wander around until she finds the right spot to go potty.  Then we go straight back in and into her kennel she goes.

Since life goes on whether I like it or not she still had to be taken care of.  I brought her in as usual.  A few minutes after being in her kennel she started making a sound I had never heard before.  It sounded like whining and groaning at the same time.  I decided to take her out and see if she needed to potty.  But the minute I got the leash on, she started dragging me toward the door and down the steps we go!  She had her ears perked up and she was listening to something.  She was scanning trying to find it.  Then suddenly she put her head down and started sniffing.  She started pulling me and then her head would fly up and her ears would perk.  She just kept listening and scanning again.  I have 3 acres and we walked this whole place doing that procedure over and over again. She never found what she was looking for or what she was hearing.  After searching the front porch she gave up and went back into her kennel.

I 100% believe Ben was calling her name.  When we came back in she laid down in her kennel and cried!  She knew he was gone now.  She had never done that before and she has never done it since.

I know this was long but it is just the first of the many signs I have had. I will tell you others at another time. If you get this far God bless your heart for doing so! ❤️ 13094111_10208607232072536_4177980844889983265_n

12 thoughts on “The First Sign

  1. Debbie Heuston says:

    I had goosebumps reading this ,I know the pain, and I have been friends with my bf since 6th grade, she lost her eldest son to suicide in April 2015, Dec 2015 I lost my oldest daughter to accidental drug interaction. We both get signs ,and our kids played together, funny they are together now again, sending signs to show us !

    Liked by 1 person

  2. chattykerry says:

    I think that our pets have a capacity to hear our thoughts no matter how far we are. My cats will come and comfort me when I am struggling with depression. I worked in an hospital for elderly people and the black cat that lived there would always sleep on the bed of the person who was about to pass away that night. What comfort animals can bring.


  3. Boni Schueller says:

    Thank you for sharing. I saw a post that said “Miracles happen every single day if we only open our eyes to the possibility”. It’s true —- my son has sent me several which I cherish.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Still Ben’s Mom says:

      I wish I knew how to get more!! I do ask him to do things and quite often he answers. In the beginning I thought maybe it was coincidence but it’s been a little over a year and it has got to be getting close to at least a hundred signs he has shown me. My daughter and I will be speaking with a medium next month and I’m hoping she will talk about the signs I have received. Just talk to him/her. Let them know you are watching and then when it happens don’t ignore it. ❤️


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s